Saying Good-bye

My mom is gone.  She passed away this week.  We buried her today.  The time has come to say good-bye.  My faith reassures me that I will see her again.  Her funeral wasn’t going to be “traditional”.  Our state is still under a “stay-in-place” order.  There is no visitation.  We can only have ten people at the gravesite.  There is no where to have a luncheon afterwards.  Everything was different.

I have chosen not to fight against what I can’t have. She wouldn’t want that. I have accepted this quarantine. I am doing my part. But how can I make this funeral for my mom special, memorable?

My mom deserves to have something said.  Someone to say out loud what an incredible woman she was.  Her life here on earth had purpose.  She made a difference.  She was important.But the words wouldn’t come.  What would I say?  Would I be able to say anything?  Or would I be too choked up? 

While I got ready this morning, words came flowing through my mind.  I wrote down what crossed my mind.  It was jumbled, no real flow, but still I wrote it down.  I had last minute errands to run.  Then I came home and tried to put the words in some sort of order.  Then it was time to go.

At the funeral, once the service was over, the pastor asked if anyone wanted to say anything. I wanted to, believe me. But I was too choked up to get through my own words. So, my pastor read these words for me.

This is how I will remember my mom:

My mom was an amazing woman.  She is the one who took me to church and Sunday School every week.  Through her example, I saw what true faith in God was, and what a great gift it is.  She also taught me love, strength courage, and compassion.  While she was at Autumn Leaves, I saw her through different eyes.  I saw her not just as my mom, but as the person she truly was.  She may have been losing her memory, but she never lost her innate ability to show others compassion.  When other residents were sad or upset, she would go and sit with them and hold their hand and try to comfort them.  She would always have a smile and a hug for the nurses, no matter what.  The nurses would tell me what a sweet lady she is and that they love to see her.  She left a lasting impact on them, and on me.  From comments on Facebook, I have heard from some, how they knew her when they were kids in the Junior High Youth Group and that both of my parents left their mark on them and changed their lives for the better.

Those “little” things are the things that make a difference and change the world, even if it’s just a small part of it.

She taught me how to grieve.  After losing her mom and her husband, she showed me that grief is ok, and you can feel the sadness and pain, but never let it comsume you.

I am so proud of her, who she was, what she accomplished in her life, and how she dealt with all the strife she encountered.  She always made the best of a situation, no matter how hard it was.  I am proud to call her my mom! She helped make me the person I am today!  I will never stop loving her, or missing her, but I know that she is watching down on us right now, and is proud of each one of us as well.

Mom, I know on Monday as you peacefully left this world, God was waiting for you with open arms saying “Well done, good and faithful servant, Well Done!!”